I am not sure what exactly we were suppose to write about on these freestyle blogs so I am going to kind of write about whatever is on my mind.
I know that everyone out there has some kind of stress in their lives. I am finding my life really hard to keep control of the stress. As I am sure you all have read before I have to small babies that live with me. I also have a 28 year old boyfriend who hasn’t worked since 2006. I am a maid, taxi, waitress, cook, cleaner, babysitter, and student. I am doing everything that I can not to pull my hair out but it isn’t working. I thought that I had a good babysitter set up to be able to do school work. I know you are all thinking that their father should be watching them but that does NOT happen. He stays up all night and sleeps all day unless he has an alcohol class to go to or court. Anyway, my babysitter keeps flaking out on me and I am getting more and more behind in all my classes. I don’t feel like I have enough time to get anything done. Oh to add to all the stress I am 60% disables from my military time.
This is my third term at EOU and this class is by far the most work I have ever been asked to do. It is not that any of the work is super hard it is just all over the place and a lot of the time I don’t find enough direction. I spend Mon-Fri on this class and try to keep up with my other 4 classes on the weekends. I have found college work to be super hard because I am use to having a lot of direction due to the military. When you start taking college classes they expect us to find our own directions and I second guess myself way too much to make that work. Even though being a mother keeps me from doing my school work they are the reason I haven’t dropped out yet. I know that they need a good role model to show them right from wrong and I am doing this for them. I will be able to support them with a better job when I have a degree.
Sorry if I rambled on forever, I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks to all who take the time to read this.
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Carmen - you are amazing! What you're doing is not easy, but it is well worth it!
ReplyDeleteI tried to go back to school when my kids were still home. I was a single parent (which actually made it easier for me) and I could not handle it. So here I am at my age - which I won't disclose except to offer a clue: my three kids; 29, 31, and 35.
If you can make it to graduation, and I know you will, your kids will be so proud of you when they realize just all you've managed to accomplish. Any employer would be thrilled to have someone with your ethics and determination because let me tell you, it's harder and harder to find really good employees.
Here's a little advice; look at the points assigned to each assignment, then prioritize by what each one is worth - make sure you do the highest point assignments first because they count the most. Oh, and don't forget to breath!! You Can Do IT!!!
Thank you very much for that. I am trying to hang in there. It seem that when it rains it poors. I need a really big umbrella :) It really is nice to hear that though thank you!
ReplyDeleteCarmen
Hi, Carmen. I can relate to your sense of being overworked and not having a partner to really lean on. I have one daughter, and my husband enjoys taking care of her. He works, but he hasn't had a steady job since before she was born. Now that she's in school full time, I am looking for him to land a full-time job, but we're still in process.
ReplyDeleteThe problem for me is that I am working overtime to support the three of us. I love my work and throw my heart into it, but I can't keep up, and the first thing to go is exercise and time for myself. I see this as a health issue. I literally work all the time I am awake, except maybe half an hour before bed! I don't think it's fair of him to have any time for himself when I don't. He does the dishes sometimes. He takes care of weather-proofing and the gutters. He mows the lawn. But, he isn't a wife, so the house is often dirty, and I handle everything else--paying bills, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, reservations for visits to family, etc. It makes it difficult for me to respect him when he doesn't seem to have any idea what his lack of work does to my life.
Because we've been together for 17 years, and because he does try, I have plenty of patience, but when I hear you as a young person talking about your partner and the lack of even basic caring for kids and the house, I am scared for you. You essentially have a fourth child who is undermining your ability to care for your family and even for yourself. Please forgive the personal comment, but as a total outsider who knows only what you've said about your situation, I think maybe it is time to ask for more from your man. Nancy
Sorry, I meant "third child" above. I was thinking you had three, but now I remember you have two very close in age. Nancy
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